Thursday, June 5, 2014

Wrestling within

So there has been this post that has been writing itself over and over within my mind for at least a couple of months now.  Do I share it?  Do I keep it to myself?  What would my closest friends think?  Or what about my family?  It's those questions and so many other feelings that have left me keeping it all to myself...

Until today - this won't be a complete story, or maybe even not a basic understanding (after all I have two little ones still home needing my attention).  But it needs to be said, for a few reasons, I suppose.

I have recently been diagnosed and am now on medication for post-partum depression.  It is not easy to say and share with you, as I am still fighting it within myself.  I do not want to admit that I have depression, or that I am something less than myself (whatever that may mean).  But the fact is, I need to share this part of my life as well because I have always felt that a good way to heal from wounds within is to share our stories with others.  We are never truly alone no matter how ALONE we may feel.  But this part of my life journey is very difficult to put out there.

So for now, I will share that tiny little piece of my life and let you know that not every day is easy, and that is okay. Not every day is full of smiles, though I may wear a smile in front of you. I am doing better now that I am on meds; but things are slow and that is okay as well.

Thanks for understanding and I will promise to share more when I have the time to really sit down and process.

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