Thursday, June 12, 2014

Is there a difference?!

I have been asked that question a few times lately, as it's been three weeks since I have been on my antidepressant medication.  I was told a few stories that I may have crazy side effects, or I may notice nothing at all.  It is this noticing of nothing at all that I am supposed to be looking for... sounds odd right?!  My understanding of that was I was supposed to just notice one day that things didn't seem to bother me as much anymore.  Thankfully I can say I feel a difference.  Whether my family see's it or not yet may be a different answer (hey I am only human); but I can say that I don't feel as anxious or cluttered, or even in a constant fog anymore.  I still have days where I want to stay in my room all day and just disappear.  But those days are no longer every day.

I can also say that I have missed a night here or there in remembering to take my pill and I have noticed the next day that upon waking up it is an instant feeling of panic.  Now that I know what I am looking for it is so easy to sense when it is not right and acknowledge it.  Yet still so scary to feel so out of control of myself at the same time.

I still want to thank all my friends and family who are here lately sharing stories and supporting me in this.  I have had some reactions from 'how could you not be with 5 kids?', to 'who isn't depressed these days?!', and in some odd way, that too is reassuring. :)

Today starts my kids summer vacation, and I am looking forward to it.  We have no big plans really, but little things here and there will fill our summer I am sure.  But I think it will be nice to not have to run out for a few months early in the morning unless I really want to. Have a great summer everyone!

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