Wednesday, April 16, 2014


It seems no matter what I try to do for my husbands birthday, it either doesn't go as planned, he figures out the surprise so its not as awesome, or a day like yesterday happens where apparently I just suck as a wife and a human being and it was just an 'okay day'.

I was going to go into more details; but its not worth it. I have already been feeling like I am not doing something right when it comes to being a stay at home, fighting depression as best as possible by getting out at least once a week with friends or having them over for coffee... but it just doesn't seem right.  Then to go to bed feeling like he wasn't happy with how the day went (based on how he described his day to his two sisters vs. how I described my view of it to his mom), it got worse when we woke up and he literally asked me if I didn't get him anything for his birthday because he hasn't gotten things for me in the past. Really?!  I went out of my way to have lunch with him yesterday, brought him flowers (yes flowers and why? because it was a gift he would never see coming! But still showed thought and care), cupcakes from Cold Stone Creamery (instead of his Dairy Queen cake), and I made him whatever he wanted for his birthday dinner.

You see he doesn't need anything right now, and the one thing he wants we can't afford.  So I thought, these things were going to make his day special somehow in a small way.  But I guess once again, I fail. Maybe one day, things will go right for his birthday.

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