This winter has been far from easy. In fact, I can't find much of anything since Orion's birth that has been easy. Is it the fact that having five kids in a small house is too much, is it that I am still unsure of who I really am, or is it just that I have had a strange view of who I am or what makes me tick, and happy. You see, I have always been a person to do things - a LOT of things. I felt that keeping myself busy was what I liked to do. Ultimately living like that is quite exhausting. Not only for myself, but the family. So, when we got Willow's diagnosis of hydrocephalus, I stepped back from a lot of things. But then joined with the Pediatric Hydrocephalus Foundation to become Michigan's co-director. But still, things weren't right with me. I have found recently, when asked a few questions about my hobbies, or what I like to read or do - that right now I have no idea. I am 36 years old, and feel like I don't know myself. I have dabbled in so many different things/hobbies but have never really stuck with any of them. Except writing; even if it is not as often as I would like it to be, I still write. Either here, or on Willow's Wishes, or in journal's or cards to send to friends. No matter what, I write.
So in that spirit, I am going to write more often. Jon has kind of challenged me, in a non challenging way (meaning really he suggested) that I write a children's book. You see when all of our kids were about Willow's age, that 3-5 range, I would tell stories to them about their day - at night. They were 'made up' stories, with characters known as Sir Jonathan, Sir Evan, Princess Amanda, and Princess Willow. The stories always had a moral at the end, that helped them solve whatever the problem was that day. Such as Jonathan had a hard time sharing with Evan one day, so Sir Jonathan came along that night, to help play with his little brother named Sir Evan. And it seemed to work and help back then. But since Willow was born, it was hard for me to continue that trend, because well, I was living in a daily turmoil of who the heck knows what will happen. And instead of really living and enjoying, I went into the deepest of survival modes. I think part of this depression I am in now, is me just trying to come out of fight/flight mode and remember how to really live, as I did before Willow.
So, here come the stories!! Anyone want to help?? If I get these written, I need an illustrator and I don't even know where to begin with publishing, but I think it would be so nice to do so. :)
Let me know if your interested in any such way